When You Pray But God Doesn’t Answer With The Miracle – Ann Voskamp

Some lean over gravestones and say: The miracle didn’t happen. And others lean over gravestones and say they got their miracle because she was a miracle, and getting to love her was a wonder, and every moment together was a miracle of grace and there is no other was to explain the extraordinary
— Read on annvoskamp.com/2022/09/when-you-pray-but-god-doesnt-answer-with-the-miracle/

Our family recently received a miracle in the birth of a healthy granddaughter. But so many times we have had heartbreak of our own. Feeling supremely grateful this morning, for every miracle I have ever received.

Tomorrow is indeed another day


Just in a rather pensive mood today. I retired last Wednesday, and our first granddaughter was born Saturday. Some scary moments but she and her mama are home and healthy. So many thoughts swirling today in the midst of my migraine haze.

Left unchecked, my imagination can frequently get the better of me. Gee, wonder where my girls’s anxiety comes from? I wonder what I could have done differently, maybe better, and realize that I need to focus on what I did right. Seeing some evidence of that now. As darling first daughter and her husband learn and connect with their precious baby, I have every confidence that her dad and I, “son’s” parents planted seeds that are coming to fruition. A miracle in itself.

Stress Flowers and Love

It is hardly surprising that healthcare workers are stressed, no matter what their role. I am not at the bedside directly, but my job is to get patients to beds from emergency room, surgery, or wherever they may happen to come from at our facilities. Recent changes to our leadership and processes have made an already difficult situation even worse. My husband works at the same hospital as a BioMed tech, so he understands the atmosphere of the hospital currently. So when I had texted that yesterday was a most definitely awful Monday, I came home to dinner ready and flowers in the table. With me on 12 hour shifts, he has discovered it is most helpful to have dinner prep done or underway by the time I get home if we want dinner before 9 pm. The one consistent thing in my life since our marriage has been dinner with him after I get home. For 30 years we have called when we get off work and said “I am on my way”, whether we are on time or delayed. But the flowers last night were a special surprise that he doesn’t usually do. Valentine’s Day he typically will buy a live rose plant to replant outside rather than “dead flowers,” as he puts it. Our dining room table is usually a chaotic mess of whatever hasn’t found a home in a drawer, file, or the shred box. Projects that he needs to fix, junk mail, books I am reading or want to read (because if those get to a shelf, they may or may not get read…), you name it, it all lays in a pile that would drive most professional home organizers up the wall. Marie Kondo does not live here, I do.

So as I review emails, texts, and my Lent devotional, and sip my coffee, I gaze at the wonder of pink lilies just opening their buds. These are a gentle reminder that my husband loves me and wants to make me happy. I also am reminded that long ago Jesus said, “…even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these” (Matthew 6:29) as he reminded his disciples that worrying is pointless. So I take comfort that I can try again another day to learn from my mistakes, and do better.

Grace in Friendships

Grace in Friendships.

I so appreciate the message in this post. I am thankful for friends who extend grace to me even though I am sure my foibles drive them crazy. I have also found that the friendships that have lasted the longest are filled with exactly that: grace. Those friendships that were based on convenience or similar circumstances (work, clubs, activities, etc) often were superficial, or didn’t last because we just didn’t stay in touch. There are also other friendships and acquaintances where reconnecting added to the weaving of our lives and created a new pattern. All have been blessings as I learned to BE a friend, not just take from the relationship.

Thank you Susan for putting into words so eloquently what I have felt about my friends who continue to hold me up and pray for me, even when I stumble. (And yes, I do pray for them as well! It’s a two -way deal!)


“Vulnerable strength isn’t an emotional outburst, rather it’s working through misunderstanding.”

Very important words this morning. Yesterday was not the most stellar of Mondays. I managed to get through most of the day by just taking deep breaths and letting go, but by 8 PM I was tired, frustrated, and really at the end of my rope, although I didn’t fully realize it. I stopped to pick up some prescriptions at a local pharmacy on my way home, and tried to make a separate purchase with my new debit card. That’s when the trouble started. The card would not work. At all. “No big deal,” I thought. I told the fellow that I would just cancel the purchase since I did’t have enough cash. I went back to my car, my mind racing over the past few days’ purchases. Surely I had not overdrawn my account! Then, my youngest called wanting me to bring home “something to make this cough stop.” I explained that we already had cough medicine at home, and that since my card wasn’t working I couldn’t make anymore purchases until I figured out what was wrong. I hung up the phone and tossed it in my bag on the seat beside me. Pounding the steering wheel in frustration, I started screaming and yelling at the unfairness of it all. “She has had this stuff since before Christmas. WHY won’t it go away??? Why is this stuff all piling up? WHY was today so crappy???” And so on for about a mile. I swung into the ATM to at least get my account balance. “Contact distributor of card.” Oh dear. This. is. not. good. Pulling back onto the street, I buzz towards home. My phone dings. I pick it up–the screen is BLACK. Apparently the toss into the bag created another issue for me. Now I have no cell phone.

Anybody else see a trend here? I am FAR too dependent on things. And I let little stuff bug me WAY too much. My place of employment is full of people who have woes far worse than mine. And yet I regress into toddlerhood and create more issues for myself. Suzie Eller wrote the words I quoted above, and in her blog post today she is talking about responding with grace in difficult situations. My issues yesterday evening had more to do with anger at myself in the long run, but I have also been guilty of not responding with grace in relationships as well. Thinking back on how I could have responded yesterday evening, lashing out didn’t do anything but create more problems, and I certainly didn’t feel better after my temper tantrum. It seems the more I resolve to do better in that area, the worse I do.

A side note: I fully expected my husband to really be upset over the phone, which is going to create another expense even though I do carry insurance on it (and the protective screen covering which we paid extra for didn’t do it’s lifetime guarantee job). When I explained what happened (a drop on the floor earlier in the day, unintended, did not help I’m sure), his comment was, “well, things happen.” His usual “I’ll just buy the part and fix it” approach won’t work this time–a replacement screen is $150. Sooo, he is taking it back to the phone store for me today since I work another 12 hour shift and won’t be able to do it myself. Oh, and the bank issue? Seems my email to the bank last week about a new card arriving after the Target debacle triggered a chain reaction. They deactivated the new one before it even arrived at my house because it had been sent out 3 weeks ago. Long story short, I still have money, just no debit card–because I cut up my old one this weekend after finding the new one in the unread mail pile. *sigh* Life’s inconveniences…

And how has YOUR week been?

My prayer is that I respond with more grace and less silly emotion. Stuff happens. I need to get over it.

1 Peter 1:2b, “May God give you more and more grace and peace.” (NLT)