Roller Coaster Year

So many things have happened this year that I am finding myself wondering “what’s next”. My mother in law passed away the end of March after battling kidney failure for two years, the result of heart catheterization dye when she caught RSV at a family birthday party and experienced an acute myocardial infarction. She had fallen in February and broken her hip; protocol dictates blood thinners be started to prevent blood clots, but due to her other medical conditions, she should never have been placed on blood thinners, especially not one that has no reversal agent. She literally bled to death over a period of a month. She had been getting tired of not feeling well, and her 95 year old body was literally worn out. So in a way it was a blessing for her suffering to be ended.

Just two weeks after Mom’s passing, a dear family friend died during a procedure after suffering a silent heart attack. He had been my own mother’s “gentleman friend” for several years, and a grandpa figure to my daughters. I had dashed up to the hospital to see him before he went to the procedure room and I was thankful I had the foresight to do so. I stayed with his daughter and son in law while the procedure was being done, and B kept apologizing, saying “I am so sorry you are experiencing this so soon after your own loss!” My mother would have expected nothing less from me. I wasn’t interested in feeling more guilty over not doing something she would have expected.

June brought an unexpected death of the husband of a cousin in my husband’s side. We all were devastated; he died in his sleep, no symptoms of anything when he went to bed the night before. I was thankful I had taken several photos at the family dinner in March after Mom’s service; R was in a couple of those pictures which his wife found comforting.

Our oldest daughter gave birth in September to a healthy baby girl. After experiencing a miscarriage last year and several complications during the pregnancy, we are all thankful for little one’s safe arrival. I had retired from my job just 3 days prior to her birth; timing is everything, they say, and it certainly seems to apply here. I will be caring for little one when her mama goes back to work in December.

In October, another aunt (sister to mother in law) passed away; she was also the mother of the lady who lost her husband in June. A trial of faith for sure, Aunt T had experienced multiple health issues of her own which required 24/7 care the last two months of her life. Her two daughters were grief stricken but at peace because her struggle was done.

The culmination of months of planning, our youngest daughter finally married the man of her dreams this past Saturday. They have dated since high school, and never looked back! So thankful for the blessings in our lives. Life is not always fair or kind, but having bright spots like new life and young love exemplified gives hope for our tomorrows. I am blessed and thankful as we head into the Thanksgiving season.

Tomorrow is indeed another day

open.spotify.com/track/5HqSwk6BUuFDI5UBMytoJA

Just in a rather pensive mood today. I retired last Wednesday, and our first granddaughter was born Saturday. Some scary moments but she and her mama are home and healthy. So many thoughts swirling today in the midst of my migraine haze.


Left unchecked, my imagination can frequently get the better of me. Gee, wonder where my girls’s anxiety comes from? I wonder what I could have done differently, maybe better, and realize that I need to focus on what I did right. Seeing some evidence of that now. As darling first daughter and her husband learn and connect with their precious baby, I have every confidence that her dad and I, “son’s” parents planted seeds that are coming to fruition. A miracle in itself.

Mother’s Day Celebration

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So excited to read @bonniegray ‘s new book! What a celebration for my on-line friend who has prayed and battled through some very tough emotions.

My family will be celebrating this Sunday with both moms, his and mine, and my sister in law and her family-at a restaurant where our youngest daughter now works. She is working this Sunday. Her first job. And this momma is wondering where the time went! I am so thankful for all the Mothers Days we have celebrated together, even the ones where I was working myself on the actual day and we celebrated on a different day, because my mother refused to allow the family to take her out without me along. So we will have a large group gathering at a table,  and none of us moms will have to cook or clean up the dishes. And we will be thankful for time together in our busy lives.